si yi

sometimes, it just gets tiring. Every time when i think that i did my best, apparently i did not. There's always something i do which disappoints. i need to go and slp now.. one day it will all makes sense..

someday we'll know..

for eternity..

I am soOo angry! What is wrong with u.. Or is it only me? 1stly, when i msn you to ask you why do you did not talk to me, you said it is I who did not want to talk to you first. When you are appearing offline and I only found out you are online coz you commented on wee keat's fb.. then you say it is because i hang up your call on skype in the afternoon.. but i did tell you that my dad was slping and i am disturbing him before i say bye and hang up.  and i thought that you did not intend to call me in the first place.. I tot you wanted to call your sis.. Because your mom said 'ehh its nt ur sis' .. first you CAPS me and then you WTF me.. telling me i am assuming things.. According to e situation that is what i am caused to believe.. Am i wrong? Is there a necessity to wtf me? What is happening to you? What is happening to us? Did i change? Why??!

Exams are over.. Rather, it has been over for a week. It has been a satisfying week and I've accomplished much.

Sat: Went for kenshu at tbsc.. I am so proud to say, i did not fall asleep at all. The things we learnt are things we already know. But the recap was good. It was refreshing, especially after exams and a long hiatus from many activities.

Sun: Started going back for kotekitai training. yay! Many are still away for exam break and i guess its a good time to start.. Sent many many resumes in response to potential job offers. I think i have found something i might really want to do. So I'm going to give it a try.

Mon: Rejected a job offer for accounts assistant first thing in e morning. My dear told me off. bleahs. Something he will want to do is not what i want.. accounting? kill me please. anyway, went out for 2 interviews at 2 recruit express offices, UOB n taka.. I had higher hopes tt UOB will offer me something that pays well and a good learning opportunity. Oh boy.. I was wrong..

Tues: visited Nesh's monther at TTSH.. She suffered a massive heart attack with 3 out of 4 arteries almost fully blocked. But she looks cheerful and did not forgot to chant. Apparently she had many many visitors throughout the day. The head nurse was amazed. =p

And today, we had a argument.. I am told that I did not have time for him at all.. Its like tt before exams.. After exams, its the same.. I'm just going for interviews instead of spending the week with him doing nothing.. as that was what he had in mind. I'm at fault for being busy, for packing my schedule with everything. But at this point, all i did and planned for the next few days was interviews, home visits and meetings. Plus because interviews are not confirmed, there was a question mark to what i will be doing the next few days. And all i did was only gakkai and work related things. I have not gone shopping, i have yet to meet any of my friends. I seriously don't think i am wrong. I felt wrong-ed.. I felt that looking for work is of utmost importance. He thought otherwise. Bleahs. Things got better after that. Even after so many years.. I don't really know, did i compromise too much or did i not compromise enough? There is truly no rights and wrongs.

Wed: went for 2 interview. 1 at UPS and 1 at GSK. I have never wanted something so bad before and i really want the job at GSK. esp after the job  scope was explained to me. The opportunity at GSK was given by recruit taka instead of UOB. and UOB was offering me PA at some aussie financial co. for $7/hr. I'm so glad eugene encouraged me to stick to what I really want to do. I think i aced the interview *whistles* I was suppose to know the results on thurs earliest. But they called me barely 3 hrs later. I'm shortlisted! yay! and i accepted. They even offered to match or give a higher rate than the PA job. SoOo nice right? I was chanting in my heart all the time. esp before the interview. It must be the good fortune that I managed to secure this job. Anyway, dear told me to not be too happy.. It might not be something i like. oh wells.. Watch Ironman 2 today too! It has been a longg longg time since we last went to catch a movie. Its not to bad.. =))

After all the happiness and fun, i went back to hall.. to find my room invaded by mold and ants. Water has been seeping through the walls into my room. I didn't realise because it is gradual.. My bed was fine when i washed the bedsheets 2 weeks ago. Now, there's mold on the wall and on e side of my bed. =(( and i have to give up my beloved bedsheet, do an emergency evacuation to dear's room, shorten my stay in hall and to sleep in dear's room for the night. Poor Phillip..

Thurs: Moved EVERYTHING back home in the morning. Daddy came to pick me up. He just had his interview and he has secured the job. Starting on friday. YAY! Went to sign contract at taka, met eugene for a while and went for daimokukai at tsc for Nesh's mother.

Friday: I washed 3 rounds of clothes today! THREE! its so scaryy.. anyway, went to meet ml at expo after her paper to give her hugs. Next was to expo to meet yat yat and deb for dinner at The Pit at Holland V. The food is delicious! The online food reviews are not wrong.. Good service, good food. I <3. Great place to chill and dine. Today, Cinderella was home before 12mn =)

Sat: NTUSD has a food race. It was.. okay la.. should have wet weather plan or requested us to bring umbrellas.. It poured halfway through.. But we managed somehow =) Quite fun. I left halfway to send Abhinav off at the airport. He's going back to Canada. I'm sure going to miss Shane and his arguing scene with Emily.. Stunning =p Anyway, met adeline and went for study meeting. Read a passage (testimonial) to the members and somehow the day ended. It was such a looong day.. I fell aslp e moment my head touched the pillow.

Sun (TODAY):  Went for kotekitai again.. I think I did pretty well.. Learning was still slower than what I would have liked.. My split has improved. Distance from the floor for right split dropped from 6 to 4 and left from 3 to 2.. sounds good. But the difficult part is from where i am to 0.. That is the difficult part. Hope i will succeed.. soon.. And today, i will prepare for work tomorrow. =D

I felt that I have been creating value in my post exams life so far. May i continue in this path. For oneself and for others. The path to enlightenment and true happiness is one fraught with obstacles and challenges.. I must not give in. =)

http://omfgawd.blogspot.com/2010/05/49-sweetest-things-to-do-with-your.html

sick.. and its just the first day of exams... I hate myself sometimes.. I really did try to memorise.. and yet i failed at it again.. its disappointing..

and i am an addict..

sighs.. bed.. hate.. jus want to slp..

I know e exams is coming now.. But because its nearing, holidays are even nearer now than ever!!! =D

So i've been thinking what is it I want to do this holidays.

First thing of course is to look for a job. Best if its related to communication, media or something along that like. (to give me industry experience). I've decided to do FYP instead of IA as well.. Much as I do not want to continue anything chemistry, I need to pull my grades up. Ok.. So hopefully the FYP thing goes according to plan.. I'm thinking of applying for The Rookie as well. I might as well try since I am interested. There's so many people.. I need to think of how to make myself stand out. BUT!!! Exams are coming and I don't have much time. =s

Things to do this hols:
1) Look for a good job
2) Sign up for dance classes
3) Outing with my gals.. many many of them
4) Vb gals outing to play beach vb
5) Sing K!!!
6) Cook with mom
7) Bake.. yummmmm
8) Lose some weight (frm e right places of coz)
9) Go eat SEAFOOD!!
10) FDGM 'gathering! Maybe tgt with the seafood.. =D

Thats all for now.. Shall update once I've thought of more. Must keep in mind to spend time at home too.. And go for soka meetings.. SoOoOo many thingsss!! =D Excited for e hols..

Current Mood: excited

When they first met, the boy never knew one day he would have to see her from visions of the past... Memories.. nice memories..

Her smile, so warm and inviting, could wash away all darkness within when she smiled. For she stirred something in the boy. Something burned deep down inside. Something so tender, delicate and so hel..

If there were no tomorrow, the boy would tell her today, that she is the one that fills his life.. She fills his soul with contentment, brightens his dark skies, fills his days and nights, with stars, hopes, and...

Just the night before the kenshu.. I had such a horrible horrible night.. But i think i held out.. I still think all that happened that night is horrible.. But its also time to move on.. The SD kenshu was great.. It somehow detached me from the real world too.. I didn't worry about anything at all and concentrated on just the kenshu itself. I had a great time with NTUSD.. and also ml n deb.. We gals talked late into e night.. Just honestly talking about our lives and what was missing.. (something definitely is with us all being down).. Talk's just talk right? We must have action! So starting from 1st Feb we will all strive hard to improve ourselves and the situations we are in..

Life definitely will get harder and harder as we grow up.. But that doesn't mean we will have to lose to those trials and tribulations.. I need to know what i want.. Chant for it.. take action.. But it gets so tiring with a hectic schedule.. BUT! I must be determined! ok..I'm really going to try hard.. so long for now..

2009 is special.. it is not only the end of the year but end of the decade as well. Many people are reminiscing the past decade (2000-2009) and what has changed in their lives. Being only 11 at 2000 and 21 now, i would say that this decade has seen me through the greatest changes in my life, from my primary school days to my university life. It has witnessed my loves, heartbreaks, success and failures.

2000 - Took part in Youth Cultural Festival and performed in Kotekitai in the indoor stadium. It was really memorable time. After much unconscious efforts, i graduated from primary school with a good t-score. Still the unknowing, innocent and naive girl, looking forward to secondary school.

2002 - Danced with FDGM peeps.. Best time of my life then I'd say.. Made some lifelong friends with whom i kept in contact, even now. Kinda missed the good old days.

2003 - Got myself attached. I would not say its at bad thing even though it ended within a year. I'm still be thankful because it made me a better person. Although there were bad days, there were good ones as well.

2004 - Finally finished my secondary school education in the beautiful school with a lake. And moved on to the next phase in life.. JC.. Got attached again. A decision which i made with much thought. May it be lasting and filled with bliss please..

2005 - Performed in Chingay and got to know my best buddies from there. They are the kind of friends you will want to with for life.. So thankful I have them.

2006 - Graduated from the factory-like school but its a good school nevertheless. And started on a temp job while waiting for uni entry..

2007 - Got into NTU, and hall 13.. started my wonderful uni life filled with fun.. Sometimes i feel that I have a lackadaisical attitude. But I just want to have fun.

2009 - Friday Rendezvous became youth ignite concert this year.. Met unforgettable committee members.. had great concerts.. =D 3rd year into my university life. I've met many wonderful people and created good memories. There were friends i made from IH and Biz law lessons.. I've gotta work harder don't i.. too old to only think of playing and having fun.

That more or less summarised my past 10 years of life. Thinking back, i sometimes wonder if i was too selfish. Life is never smooth or easy. I believe there's lots more for me to improve on in the future. May i be successful..

To all those who made an impact in my life, thank you for what you have done. And these are memories i will always cherish..

Current Mood: contemplative